Editors Note: Shortly after publication of this article Melissa was arrested on three counts of custodial interference.

As Lt. Gov. Susan Bysiewicz and the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence hoisted a purple flag over the Capitol to raise awareness about domestic violence, just a block down the street a group of seven or so women gathered outside Connecticut superior court, preparing to sit in on a child custody case they say highlights the injustice women face in Connecticut’s family court system.

The group — which includes a Ph.D., a journalist, two founders of nonprofits, a former DCF worker, and a mom representing herself in a divorce case, who have all been through Connecticut’s family court system — say the court is ignoring or even helping continue domestic abuse.

“Abuse allegations in family court are ignored and, worse, invalidated and flipped onto the victim,” said Betsy Keller, founder of Connecticut Protective Moms, a group dedicated to family court reform. “It’s an age-old tactic for an abusive parent to take the fear and allegation of abuse and say this is a lie, they flip the narrative to the victim.”

“I worked for DCF for thirteen years and I would have never known what was happening in family court until I had to step foot in family court,” said Frances Cordova. 

The women were there to support a mother named Melissa who was facing possible jail time for contempt of court charges for not adhering to court-ordered visitation with their father, reunification therapy, or turning over custody to the father because, she says, the children refused to go and she wouldn’t forcefully remove them from her car. Lengthy videos of the attempted drop-offs posted to social media show police officers trying to coax the children from her mini-van.

In September, a court-appointed therapist testified that Melissa was “alienating” the children from their father and that reversing custody would undo the mother’s influence against their father. Following that testimony, Judge Linda Allard reversed the custody orders, switching sole legal custody from Melissa to the children’s father. 

The father is currently facing two felony and three misdemeanor charges related to alleged domestic violence incidents, has a protective order against him and has been wearing an ankle monitor for over a year, according to court records. The father denies all the allegations and stated in court these are “false charges” meant to keep him from his kids.

Allard also threatened Melissa with arrest, stating in court that Melissa “might want to bring a toothbrush,” to the next hearing, implying that she would be going to jail if she did not get the children to their father, according to court transcripts from September 29. Now, Melissa says she has not seen or heard from her children since October 1 and has filed a motion to remove Judge Allard from her case alleging court bias.

The names of judges, court-appointed psychologists, therapists, and guardian ad litems (GALs) are well-known to the court watchers, who scribble notes during the proceedings, follow each other’s cases, strategize, and share updates with hundreds, if not thousands, of other women currently facing issues in Connecticut’s family court system, and they believe these court appointees, who can charge tens of thousands of dollars to the parents for their services, are part of the problem.

“There’s a cast of characters that are the go-to court professionals,” Keller said. “Here, because of the proximity to Hartford, to Middletown regional high conflict court, you keep seeing the same – I call them the ‘Dirty Dozen’ – you see the same dozen faces and characters showing up on these cases with the same approach, same questionable tactics.”

Cordova says that their focus is on what’s best for the children involved in these situations. Under Connecticut statute, custody determinations are supposed to be made in the best interest of the child, and court-appointed psychologists and therapists say that a healthy relationship with both mother and father – regardless of the issues between the parents – is the best situation for children, something the court-appointed therapist testified to during Melissa’s case.

But the court watchers believe this amounts to disregarding domestic abuse, rewarding violent behavior, and allowing a form of continued control over both women and the children, enabled by the court system.

“We’re here because of the injustice that is happening to women across the state of Connecticut,” said Casey, a mother who has fought her own protracted battle in family court that involves domestic violence allegations and accusations of parental alienation. “It’s disgusting that children are not being protected. Children’s voices matter.”

“Ultimately this is about child safety,” Cordova said. “Child safety is what we should be really focused on – this about what’s best for the children and what’s the reason for having these statutes if you’re not going to follow them?”

Keller said Melissa’s case was not the only one that was occurring in that family courthouse that day, three other women whose cases they were following were scheduled to appear in court that day. 

Regardless of their claims that family court is ignoring domestic abuse, the women say they know organizations like the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence (CCADV) – which was down the street raising the purple flag – do not have the resources to venture into the family court system.

“We all speak to our coalition on a regular basis,” Keller said. “Their bandwidth and their funding does not cover family court. So, they can help you with emergency crisis, they can counsel you, get you out of the home, get you to safety, but once you step in that court across the street, that’s not part of their purview or their experience, and certainly not in their funding.”

Reached for comment, Meghan Scanlon, president and CEO of CCADV, said that while the organization has advocated for criminal and civil court, they do not have the funding to hire advocates for family court.

“From CCADV’s perspective, there’s always room for system improvement,” Scanlon said. “We would always welcome conversations with the family court system on ways we might be able to help to improve the experience of survivors and their families, certainly happy to have those conversations.”

“We don’t have funding for a family court advocate,” Scanlon said. “Is it something that we would love to provide? Yes.”

Scanlon offered that perhaps some additional and consistent training on domestic violence and abuse for court officers could “be a very small step.”

“I know there’s training around domestic violence now, but to maybe make sure it’s happening on a regular basis – and it could be, but we don’t know — by a reputable organization,” Scanlon said.

The court watchers are hoping for some legislative changes in the future, chief among them being Connecticut’s adoption of Kayden’s Law, which places certain limitations on reunification therapy, stricter guidelines for expert testimony, and restricts the complete removal of a child from the care of a “safe parent.” Colorado and California have adopted the law, but it has yet to be proposed in Connecticut.

“It’s legal abuse,” Keller said. “The abuser can no longer victimize the victim in their own home, so they use the courtroom under the acceptance of the court professionals.”

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